Deciding to have a religious wedding was a no-brainer for us. We both grew up in Catholic families and are regular church goers. I never imagined myself not getting married in a church. Marriage preparation is a large part of a Catholic wedding and it’s something I’m glad to have experienced. We’ve met with the Deacon twice since we got engaged and last weekend attended an engaged couples retreat. It wasn’t the lecture on marriage in the church that I enjoyed, but taking time out of our busy lives to talk about issues that will affect all couples, no matter the religion.
At our retreat last weekend we met other engaged couples and got to hear from people married 20 and 56 years. We covered topics like finance, conflict resolution and family of origin. Finances always come up and I feel pretty confident in our conflict resolution skills, but family of origin was really interesting to me and something Keith and I will discuss again. This is basically where you come from. It’s not only your heritage, but the way you were raised. How were you punished when you acted out as a kid? (I never did.) Were you encouraged to share your emotions and feelings? And how did your family express anger? I’m nostalgic, so I liked thinking back to my childhood and sharing stories and experiences with Keith. But it also brought up a few points I never would have thought to discuss. Like, how will we discipline our children? Or how were we taught to express anger? We talked a little bit about these questions at the retreat and the entire ride back home.
Attending the retreat didn’t necessarily teach us anything new, but it helped us think about different issues in a way we never had before. It was nice to shift our focus from invitations and floral arrangements and take a closer look at how we’ll build our life together.
Speaking on family of origin, take a look at where we come from: